Friday, February 5, 2016

Meet All The Players

Happy Friday Everyone!

Almost every Friday means a trip to the farm for us, and I thought I'd introduce you (some of you for the second time) to a few of the characters that are always eagerly awaiting our arrival.

And food.

First up: Jarvis. The Big Daddy of the farm. The Main Man. 
Jarvis thinks he's the ultimate Ladies Man and that's fine because what Jarvis doesn't realize is that he's really just big and not too smart. And slow.
The important thing is that Jarvis takes his job seriously. Very Seriously y'all. And he seems to be excellent at it. And that's pretty much all I'm gonna say about that.

Ah, Mean Cow. I'm pretty sure she thinks she's JT's lap dog. She LOVES him. Just can't get enough of him and those feed sacks. She's also Mean which is a problem.

As a result of her mottled coloring (and perhaps as a manifestation of her temper) Mean Cow has a history of producing some of the funkiest looking calves around. The latest one is no exception. We're thinking of calling it Detritus.

Why do Mean Cow's horns look so weird you ask? Well, Mean Cow's daddy was a (now departed) longhorn bull and something went wacky genetically because she got the super long horns but the problem was they grew down instead of up and out. They actually begin to grow into the sides of her face. I know. Ouch. To remedy this, my brother-in-law, JT, and a couple of other cowboys went to the trouble of cutting them off. Let's just say she wasn't too fond of the whole process and practically killed herself along with most of the men involved. So no one was too terribly concerned that her horns turned out unfashionably lopsided. 
I think it fits her.

One of two sister White Cows on the farm, this is the lady in charge. She and her sister pretty much determine how things go down around here. She's smart, quick and sure of herself.
Do not get between her horns and and a bale of hay.

Cripple(d) cow is a dear. She's a HUGE girl and I suppose all that bulk has finally worn out her joints. At certain times of the year she has a lot of trouble with her front legs and becomes really slow. 
She produces absolutely beautiful and sturdy calves.

Oh Poor Cow! You're my favorite! 

Poor Cow is getting up in years. 

His favorite, my Daddy gave her the name because every winter she got very poor and skinny. He would often pen her up in a field by herself and hand feed her cubes almost everyday. She became smitten with attention and quite honestly, spoiled. 

Poor Cow is by far the smartest, most intuitive, and most tuned-in cow on the place. I think of my Daddy every time I see her and when we finally lose her I'll be heartbroken.

Also quite old, the Red Sister Cow's sister died just a few months ago. So sad. We probably need to give her a new name, but I'm afraid she may not be around much longer and I'm trying not to get too attached.

The most famous (and infamous) farm resident, Donkey is both a loner and a thinker. Donkey is always just on the fringe of the cattle herd, but I'm pretty sure he holds some kind of honorary mayoral position. Or at least he assumes he does. 

Donkey loves rolling in the dirt, biting the cow's heads, and sun. He hates cold, rainy weather and icicles on his ears.

One thing is for sure: Donkey needs a girlfriend.

Dumb Cow. 

How do I begin? I'm sorry if her name offends anyone, clearly it's on the verge of being politically incorrect. 
But honestly, we actually wonder if she has a brain. Bless her.

Dumb cow just kind of stands and stares. It's her default status. She's most often away from the herd, but if she's with them she's facing a different direction. If the entire herd is excited and moving toward a certain pasture in anticipation of feeding, Dumb Cow might be right in the thick of things at the beginning but by the time they reach the feeding area DC has made a wrong turn and fenced herself up in the pasture just to the north or south of the feed zone.

In testament though, to the fact that EVERYONE has a gift, Dumb Cow is by far the finest mother on the farm. I can't describe how carefully and tenderly she cares for her calves. And it doesn't go unnoticed! The other cows frequently leave their calves under DC's care for the day. I call it the kindergarten.

DC is my spirit animal.

Hope you've enjoyed meeting just a few of our favorites! Have a great weekend!